Pain & Tooth

Jagged, sharp, dull, piercing, encroaching, invading, aching, aching, aching, driving me absolutely mad. I absolutely without a doubt hate, & I mean it, HATE, toothaches, but honestly does anyone? Have you ever seen anyone get excited about having a toothache? Really doubt it, unless there were some sort of bat-shit crazy idea that they're getting money for their toothache for some damnably unknown reason, but that's a really stupid idea, so shut up about that one. This is about me & that demon, the one from the pits of hell that was possessing my tooth.

I say possessed because that is essentially what it is, as this pain is an invader on your normalcy an entirely unwanted intrusion that needs to be exercised immediately. I had one such event, one of the worst I've ever experienced, occur to me today, & I was not, "happy", about it in the least. This was especially so because I was working, not that any time is a good time, no time is good, but when you're working it's a particular nuisance indeed.

So I was sitting there at work in my cubicle, minding my own business, waiting for a call, feeling fine on Friday & from the deep fathomless darkness it struck, attacking the left side. Quietly at first, small, it was hard to tell exactly which tooth it was coming from, tooth to tooth, top to bottom, but one thing was for sure, it was growing.

Stronger & stronger it grew as smaller & smaller my concentration shrank, my will weakening. The pain was spreading, along the jaw line. To the ear. Up the side of my head to my temple, starting to seep into my brain, where it would soon & surely take over my mind & make it explode, splattering chunks of brain matter all over the sales floor, or force me to take up a pottery class... one or the other.

I couldn't stand it any longer, if I had a gun & would have chambered a round & popped one in the brain-pan & fulfill at least one of the inevitable out comes, but that was out of the question on so many levels. So did the next best thing I could muster, beg for pills. So I stood up & asked around for some, ibuprofen preferably, explaining my situation. One did.

So as I stood there waiting like a junkie fixing for their next hit, they made a joke. "If the tooth is bothering so much, why don't you just pull it out yourself?" Given the situation I did not find this humorous at all, but even under optimum circumstances I still doubt I would have found it funny.

I apologized that I wasn't finding anything really funny at the moment.

So meds in hand I quickly got back to my desk & downed them with some water, then waited, hoping to subdue the nightmare in my damned face... but it only seem to be getting worse... elbows on the desk, face in my hands, wincing at the sharp jabs, it happened, I got a call.

Given the state I was in it was like the world's most annoying man had just called in, to anyone else he would have been normal, but to me his very voice rattled the folds of my brain, his words like poison unlocking the doors in my head allowing the pain to advance further in, feeding on his crude grunts called language. I wanted to hang up, to tell him he was pissing me off, to shut the hell up, to GO THE FUCK AWAY!

But I didn't. I stood firm mustering all I could to work my way though the call, to get to the end, the customer non the wiser that I wanted to nothing more then to punch him in the face to shut him up. When I finished it was still getting worse, the whole side of my head simply pulsing with pure pain that was driving me madder, ready to break my psyche at any moment. The thought of taking another call, having to endure more annoying pests licking my brain with their corrupting babble forced my hand. So I inquired if I would be alright if I left a little early as I was near the end of my shift anyway. To my relief it was... I also would not be short on hours either, so bonus.

So I quickly shut down my computer, gathered my things, & left promptly for home. Evey stop was a hindrance, every slow moving car was a massive annoyance, but once home I quickly attacked it, an exoticism. First with some flossing, then Listerine, then the coup de grâce; 80 proof vodka, ding!

For the most part worked, I've tamed it, beat it back, regained my composure, back to a normal human being. It tries to rear up again here & there, but I swat it back again, knowing though that in the back of my mind I'm going to have to do something a bit more drastic, it's only a matter of time, I will somehow eventually need to see... a dentist. NO!!! ...yes.

Anyway, so that was a long winded yet descriptive rant I wanted to pull out of my noggin, put more simply I could have also stated; I had a toothache, it really sucked, the end.

Never Forget.

Conan returns on November 8th on TBS, the show will be called: "Conan".

Mind blowing, I know.

Check out all the sweetness at: Team Coco

Maybe Conan can keep me going though the long winter, all right.

Say it ain't so Coco!

This whole fiasco with the Tonight Show has left me in a silent hate rage against NBC & the toe fungus's that call them selves "executives". How can they do that to Conan?! They should have just let Leno walk! It simply boggles the mind how they stabbed him in the back like that!

Nearly everywhere I look, nearly everyone I speak to loves & supports Conan. Many celebrities, big & small do too. So why are these brainless executives treating Leno like a god while spitting on Conan? What dark powers are keeping him there?! I hope NBC has a massive backlash when the dust settles & Leno's Tonight Show 2.0 tanks worse in the ratings then his dog pile prime-time show has been doing.

Mad I tell you, MAD!

Yes, not everyone likes Conan, & yeah, it may not be all Leno's fault, they did supposedly “fired” him, but they also supposedly wouldn’t let him go according to Leno’s own words.

Really, the one to point the blame at would be Jeff Zucker, chief executive of NBC Universal; he has made a lot of bad choices, he’s admitted it, but he also made them such an ugly public mess & screwed Conan over in the process. No matter if you prefer Leno over Conan, Conan did get short end of the stick, no doubt about it, he was given promises that were not kept.

I wish Leno could have somehow left when he was “fired”, then did his own thing on another network, then Leno fans would have their place to watch him & Conan fans would have kept him where he was supposed to stay.

As a big Conan fan I’m angry over this & yes I’m not a Leno fan, but I don’t hate people for liking him, I just don’t like this whole situation, but I guess Conan gets a nice last pay check out of it, though he’d probably preferred to keep the Tonight Show over the money, but I wish him the best of luck & hope he finds something good & is able to keep his most, if not all his staff if possible.

I was so thrilled when I heard that Andy was returning to work with Conan. That to me was like the Beatles reuniting! Then, not too long ago they got him back at the couch during interviews like the old days… it literally makes me sad that we may be losing this again.

Conan is my hero & I hope he finds a place that will give him the respect he deserves. God speed sir! *salute* I will follow you to the ends of the broadcast universe.

Also, If you're a super fan of Conan, or just like him a bit & you use Twitter, follow @InConanWeStand to show your support! I don't know (& kind of doubt) they'll hit a million by Friday, but we can help them try!

Thank you.